'Why are you crying, Ted ?' asked his
| Children jokes
'Why are you crying, Ted ?' asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt. 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet. 'But they are the only feet I have.
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What's a python's favourite pop group ?
| Snake jokes
What's a python's favourite pop group ? Squeeze !
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The doctor said he would have me on
| Doctor and nurse jokes
The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks. "And did he?" "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
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Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't
| Old age jokes
Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies. They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
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What kind of elephants live in Antartica
| Elephant jokes
What kind of elephants live in Antartica ? Cold ones !
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Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air. He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound. So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound. The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound. As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in. No sound. He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound. He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man asked him, “How deep is this hole?” The farmer said, “Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?” The man, not wanting to g et the blame, said, “No.” The farmer said, “Oh well. He can’t get far. He was tied to a railroad beam.”