What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog
| Bed jokes
What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed? Sleep on the sofa.
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Teacher : If you had five apples on your desk
| School jokes
Teacher : If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took three what would you have ? Pupil : A fight !
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Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I
| Doctor and nurse jokes
Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus. Patient: What happened? Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first? Patient: Give me the bad news first. Doctor: Your legs were injured so ba
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Customer: Why is this
| Waiter jokes
Customer: Why is this sandwich half eaten? Waiter: I didn't have time to finish it.
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The Smith’s were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards. They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose — how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair. The author said he could handle the story tactfully. The book appeared. It said, “Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock.”