Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses? A: Because he didn’t want them shitting in the streets during parades.
Author: BeFunnyNow.com
Girlfriend: Will you love me when I’m old and
Girlfriend: Will you love me when I’m old and fat and ugly? Boyfriend: Of course I do !
Two pigs robbed a bank. Why were they caught so
Two pigs robbed a bank. Why were they caught so quickly? They squealed on each other.
Why is the old, decrepit horse named
Why is the old, decrepit horse named Flattery? Because it gets you nowhere!
When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what
When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what does he put on his head? Steer phones!
Where do ants go to eat ?
Where do ants go to eat ? At a restaurant !
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads, “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.” They start going up and on the first floor the sign reads, “All the men on this floor are short and plain.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads, “All the men here are short and handsome.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads, “All the men here are tall and plain.” They still want to do better, and so, knowing there \r nare still two floors left, they continue on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect. “All the men here are tall and handsome.” The women get all excited and are about to go in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they would be missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. On the fifth floor they find a sign that reads, “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.”
How do man-eating monsters count to a
How do man-eating monsters count to a thousand? On their warts.
Would you like a duck egg for supper?
Would you like a duck egg for supper? Only if you quack it for me.
A naughty child was
A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. “Hey kid,” he shouted. “Why don’t you go outside and play?”