Did you hear about the Irish monster who went to night school to learn to read in the dark?
Why was the monster standing on his head? He was turning things over in his mind.
Did you hear about the monster who had an extra pair of hands? Where did he keep them? In a handbag.
What did the big, hairy monster do when he lost a hand? He went to the second-hand shop.
What makes an ideal present for a monster? Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.
How can you tell if a monster has a glass eye? Because it comes out in conversation
Boy: Did you know you can get fur from a three headed mountain monster? Girl: Really? What kind of fur? Boy: As fur away as possible!
What should you call a polite, friendly, kind, good looking monster? A failure.
How do you communicate with the Loch Ness Monster at 20,000 fathoms? Drop him a line.
Where is the monster’s temple? On the side of his head.