An old man approaches the window of a cinema with

Elf: My favourite film is about the man who

| Christmas jokes

Elf: My favourite film is about the man who casts spells in the middle of a swamp. Father Christmas: That's called 'The Wizard of Ooze'!

[ read more ]

The Greatest

| Book title jokes

The Greatest Party by Maud D. Merrier

[ read more ]

How do vampires keep their breath smelling

| Vampire jokes

How do vampires keep their breath smelling nice? They use extractor fangs.

[ read more ]

What would you call two

| Banana jokes

What would you call two banana skins ? A pair of slippers.

[ read more ]

What is the opposite of a

| Weather jokes

What is the opposite of a cold front? -A warm back

[ read more ]

An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of course!” “I’m sorry,” The girl tells him. “We can’t allow animals in the cinema.” The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his trousers. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick it’s head out and watch the film. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers, “Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!” Agnes whispers back, “Oh, don’t worry about it…you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.” Madge says, “I KNOW…but this one’s eating my POPCORN!!”