Category: College jokes

A son is

A son is calling his mom from college, and telling her that he had just got his degree. The mother says: That’s great honey! What kind of degree? And the son, almost squealing with excitement says: The best one ever, a Celsius degree!

College meals

College meals are generally unpopular with those who have to eat them and sometimes with good reason. “What kind of pie do you call this?” asked one student indignantly. “What’s it taste like?” asked the cook.” “Glue!” “Then it’s apple pie the plum pie tastes like soap.”

Now my motto in

Now my motto in life, said the school chaplain, “is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?” “My motto is let bygones be bygones.” “That’s good. Why did you choose that?” “Then I wouldn’t have to take any history classes!”

The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for

The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?” At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, “Er… How much for a season pass?”

Two storks are

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. “Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.” The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, “Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.” A few days later, the stork’s parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he’s been all night. The baby stork says, “No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!”

A college student in a philosophy class was

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: “Is this a question?” – Discuss. After a short time he wrote: “If that is a question, then this is an answer.” The student received an “A” on the exam. A Boston brokerage house advertised for a “young Harvard graduate or the equivalent.” Among the inquiries received was one from a Yale grad. He said, “Do you mean two Princeton men, or a Yale man part time?”