First Monster: I’m so thirsty my tongue’s hanging out. Second Monster: Oh. I thought that was your necktie!
Author: BeFunnyNow.com
What happens if a big hairy monster sits in
What happens if a big hairy monster sits in front of you at the movie theater? You miss most of the film.
WIFE: “You look tired, honey. How about a
WIFE: “You look tired, honey. How about a nice steak, mashed potatoes and an apple pie for dessert?” HUSBAND: “No thanks. I’m too tired. Let’s just eat at home.”
A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship
A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing in front of her. An alien stepped out of the spaceship and started to pump gas into it. The woman noticed the letters U.F.O. printed on the side of the ship. She turned to the alien and asked Does U.F.O. stand for Unidentified Flying Object? The alien answered, No, it stands for Unleaded Fuel Only!
Teacher: I’d like a room, please.
Teacher: I’d like a room, please. Hotel Receptionist: Single, Sir? Teacher: Yes, but I am engaged.
Q: What do you get when you cross a matzo ball
Q: What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD? A: A trip to Israel.
When you go for a bus ride, do you like sitting
When you go for a bus ride, do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs? I prefer to ride on top, but it’s very hard getting the horse up the stairs.
What is uglier than an aardvark?
What is uglier than an aardvark? Two aardvarks!
Why don’t astronauts get hungry after being
Why don’t astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space? Because they’ve just had a big launch.
What do you call a dog with no legs ?
What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn’t matter what you call him, he still won’t come !