You have to stay in shape. My grandmother

The criminal mastermind found one of his

| Criminal jokes

The criminal mastermind found one of his gang sawing the legs off his bed. "What are you doing that for?" demanded the crook boss. "Only doing what you ordered," said the stupid thug. "You told me to lie low for a bit!"

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An airplane was losing altitude

| Aviation jokes

An airplane was losing altitude over the Rocky Mountains. The pilot over the intercom said that the entire luggage needed to be thrown overboard if they were to survive. After all the luggage was thrown the plane was still going down so they asked for volunteers. A man from Paris went to the do

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Yo mama so poor your

| Yo momma jokes

Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

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Tipton and Baldwin shared a room on the North

| College jokes

Tipton and Baldwin shared a room on the North Carolina campus. One day Tipton came in and said to his roommate, "I hear there's a new case of herpes in the dorm." "Great!" said Baldwin. "I was getting tired of 7-Up!"

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A small boy is sent to bed by his

| Parent jokes

A small boy is sent to bed by his father... [Five minutes later] "Da-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." [Five minutes later] "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO! If you ask agai

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You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.