Q: Mom,

A farmer in the country has a watermelon

| Farmer jokes

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAIN

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A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the

| Lawyer jokes

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper. "Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding

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If you're fishing on ice, you should

| Fishing jokes

If you're fishing on ice, you should never tell a joke on ice. WHY??? The ice will crack up!

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A cattleman from West

| Heaven and hell jokes

A cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, "Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Texas." "The gatekeeper replied, "First of all, I'm not Sain

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During a visit to a military medical clinic,

| Military jokes

During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. The technician there was friendly and mentioned that his mood improved every day because he was due to leave the service in two months. As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that taking the blo

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Q: Mom, why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons? A: I don’t want the neighbours to think I’m employing corporal punishment, dear.