When a young hotshot conductor was making his
| Music jokes
When a young hotshot conductor was making his debut at the Met, he showed the jaded and skeptical orchestra how well he knew the music by singing all parts of the Lucia sextet during rehearsal. Afterwards, one musician was overheard whispering to the other, impressed, "Well, this kid really
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Q: What is a crowbar?
| Bird jokes
Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
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What is the difference between a flea and a
| Insect jokes
What is the difference between a flea and a wolf ? One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie !
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A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car,
| Blonde jokes
A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car, but burned her lips on the tailpipe.
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Patient: Doctor, you must help me.
| Doctor and nurse jokes
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!!
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Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are seperated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. He called the devil over and said “Look, Satan, you have to rebuild this fence.” Satan agreed. The next day God noticed that the devil had completely rebuilt the fence…but it was 2 feet further into heaven than before. “Satan!” beckoned God. “You have to take that fence down and put it back where it belongs!” “Yeah? What if I don’t?” replied the devil. “I’ll sue you if I have to,” answered God. “Sure,” laughed Satan. “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”