Doctor, Doctor I’ve just swallowed a

A Martian lands to plunder,

| Accountant jokes

A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, "I'm a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We're here to destroy your civilisation, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?" The owner replies, "I don't have an

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A little girl spoke to her teacher about

| Religious jokes

A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl said, "But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale." Irritated, the t

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The Pentagon once did a study on why so many

| Military jokes

The Pentagon once did a study on why so many American Servicemen marry women in the countries where they're stationed. Contrary to popular belief, loneliness had nothing to do with it. Once the men rotated back to the US, all their in-laws were thousands of miles away.

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Three New Zealanders and three

| Travel and tourist jokes

Three New Zealanders and three Aussies are travelling by train to a cricket match at the World Cup in England. At the station, the three Aussies each buy a ticket and watch as the three New Zealanders buy just one ticket between them. "How are the three of you going to travel on only one tick

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Q: What's the difference between

| Dirty jokes

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick? A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

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Doctor, Doctor I’ve just swallowed a pen Well sit down and write your name!