Author: BeFunnyNow.com

President Dubya was awakened one night by an

President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. “Mr. President,” said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, “there’s good news & bad news.” “Oh, no,” muttered the President, “Well, let me have the bad news first.” “The bad news, sir, is that we’ve been invaded by creatures from another planet.” “Gosh, and the good news?” “The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil.”

A man arrived at a seaside hotel

A man arrived at a seaside hotel where he had made a reservation rather late at night. All the lights were out, so he knocked on the door. After a long time a light appeared in an upstairs window and a woman called out, “Who are you? What do you want?” “I’m staying here!” “Stay there, then,” she retorted, and slammed the window shut!

Sarah was reading a newspaper,

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. “Listen to this,” she said. “There’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.” “Hmmm,” her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, Sarah said, “Would you swap me for a season ticket?” “Absolutely not,” he said. “How sweet,” Sarah said. “Tell me why not.” “Season’s more than half over,” he said.