An airline pilot wrote that on this
| Aviation jokes
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy, which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, give a smile, and a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his
[ read more ]
Psychiatrist: Well, what's
| Mental health jokes
Psychiatrist: Well, what's your problem? Patient: I prefer brown shoes to black shoes. Psychiatrist: There's nothing wrong with that. Lots of people prefer brown shoes to black shoes. I do myself. Patient: Really? How do your like yours - fried or boiled?'
[ read more ]
The proud owner of an impressive new clock was
| Time jokes
The proud owner of an impressive new clock was showing it off to a friend. 'This clock,' he said, 'will go for 14 days without winding. 'Really?' replied his friend, 'And how long will it go if you do wind it ?'
[ read more ]
Policeman: Didn't you see my
| Car and train jokes
Policeman: Didn't you see my lights flashing? Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed of light.
[ read more ]
Monster: Where do fleas go in
| Monster jokes
Monster: Where do fleas go in winter? Werewolf: Search me!
[ read more ]
A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he’s in a good mood that day he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name. “Fred,” he replies. Fred what?” the officer asks. “Just Fred,” the man responds. When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. “Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?” The man replies, “It’s a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling MD DDS. I got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling MD DDS with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my dingaling so now I’m just Fred.”