What's grey but turns red ?
| Elephant jokes
What's grey but turns red ? An embarrassed elephant !
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Why did he cross back?
| Accountant jokes
Why did he cross back? So he could charge the client for travel expenses.
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If you want to get
| Money jokes
If you want to get rich, why should you keep your mouth shut? Because silence is golden.
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At a family gathering, husband began teasing his
| Women jokes
At a family gathering, husband began teasing his wife about how she always get her way. "Honey," she said to her husband, "when I get my way, that's a compromise." "What is it when I get my way?" he was quick to ask. She replied, "That's a miracle!"
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How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub?
| Telephone jokes
How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub? They both have rings!
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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal. While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, “Johnson, the pole vault,” and was admitted. The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, “McTavish, the hammer.” He was also admitted. The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate and announced, “O’Sullivan, fencing.”