How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb? Four – three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb.
A man calls the fire department and says, “Yes, I have just had my front yard landscaped, I have a nice new flower bed, a new fish pond with a fountain and a new rose garden.” “Very nice,” the firefighter says, “but what does that have to do with the fire service?” “Well,” the man answers, “the house next door is on fire and I don’t want you to trample my front yard.”
A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When confronted by his boss the man explained: “You can’t park anywhere near this place!”
After the fire-truck arrived at a burning building in a small Spanish town, the firemen observed a man dressed in a matador’s costume prancing around on the roof. Four of the firemen held a safety-net and urged him to escape from the burning building by jumping into the net. He refused and loudly proclaimed, “I’m Fearless Jose the bullfighter who fears nothing, not even fire.” The firemen begged and pleaded but to no avail. Jose kept prancing around while repeating the same phrase over and over until the firemen got really sick and tired of hearing it. Finally, when the flames began to scorch his butt, Jose announced he had changed his mind, was ready to jump and then leaped off the rooftop. As his body hurtled toward the safety-net, the four firemen shouted, “Ole!” and quickly moved it aside.
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning. “Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!” “The cups man! Save the cups!” cries George. “Uh, the fire hasn’t spread to the canteen yet, sir.”
Q: What word begins with the letter “F” and ends in “UCK”? A: FIRETRUCK.
Q. A fireman had two sons. What did he name them? A. Hosea and Hoseb’
The Volunteer Fire Chief in a small town had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and family started toward their cars. However, they stopped because a strange, eerie sound suddenly was heard from the grave. As the guests looked around, a colleague of the deceased said, “Don’t worry… it’s just the dispatcher toning him out.”
A firefighter died and went to hell where he finds a wall of clocks. After seeing all these clocks on a wall, with his friends names under them, he asked the devil, what the clocks mean? “That’s easy, each time one of your friends mess up on earth, their clock speeds up one hour.” says the devil. “I don’t see the Chiefs clock anywhere?” the fireman says. The devil replied, “Oh him, we have his down in the basement, we’re using it for a fan.”
Q. What does CHAOS stand for? A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.