Category: Face jokes

A woman just back from Arizona was telling her friends about the trip. “When my husband first saw the Grand Canyon, his face dropped a mile,” she said. “Why, was he disappointed with the view?” “No, he fell over the edge.”

Fred’s new girlfriend uses such greasy lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a better grip.

Boy: You’ve got a face like a million dollars. Girl: Have I really? Boy: Yes ? it’s green and wrinkly.

A little boy came running into the kitchen. “Dad, dad,” he said, “there’s a monster at the door with a really ugly face.” “Tell him you’ve already got one,” said his father.

Witch: Doctor, I can’t help pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Well there’s nothing terrible about that. Witch: It is when the people with ugly faces don’t like them being pulled.

Teacher: What a glum face, what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours ? Pupil: I’d be too polite to mention it !

Mommy, all the kids at school say Im a werewolf! Is that true? “No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face.”

Q.What do me and a mirror have in common? A.When we see your face we both crack up!

Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died. “Congregation,” the priest said before the assembled masses. “Does anybody know this boy’s name? Because I don’t know him, but his face rings a bell.”

I don’t know where you got your face from, but i hope you have the receipt.