Category: Beauty jokes

Monster: I’m so ugly. Ghost: It’s not that bad! Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my father was born they just passed out cigarettes. When I was born they simply passed out.

Last night I dreamt I was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the world What was I wearing ?’

My boyfriend thinks I’m beautiful Well they do say that love is blind !

Your ugly. And you’re drunk. Yes, but in the morning I’ll be sober !

I don’t think these photographs you’ve taken do me justice. You don’t want justice – you want mercy !

What did the really ugly man do for a living ? He posed for Halloween masks !

I can’t understand why people say my girlfriend’s legs look like matchsticks. They do look like sticks – but they certainly don’t match.

Two teenage boys were talking in the classroom. One said, ‘I took my girlfriend to see ‘The bride of Dracula’ last night. ‘Oh yeah,’ said the other, ‘ what was she like ?’ ‘Well she was about six foot six, white as a ghost and she had big red staring eyes and fangs. The other said, ‘Yes, but what was ‘The Bride of Dracula’ like ?’

Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance ? Man: It did for a while – then it fell off.

Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened. ‘I thought it was love at first sight,’ said Julie. ‘It was, but it was the second and third sights that changed my mind.