What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers ? Infantry !
What do you get if you cross a mountain and a baby ? A cry for Alp !
How does a baby ghost cry? “Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!”
Why does a mother carry her baby? The baby can’t carry the mother.
I got a letter from my sister. She just had a baby. But she didn’t say whether it’s a boy or girl. So I don’t know if I’m an uncle or an aunt.
Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue? Because they can’t dress themselves.
Little Johnny ‘s next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny’s family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny’s parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little Johnny before going to the neighbors. He said “Now, son… that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or I am really going to spank you when we get back home.” “I promise not to mention his ears at all” said Little Johnny. At the neighbors home, Little Johnny leaned over in the crib and touched the baby’s hand He looked at it’s mother and said “Oh What a Beautiful little baby”. The mother said “Thank you very much, Little Johnny.” He then said, “this baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why… just look at his pretty little eyes…. Did his doctor say that he can see good?” The Mother said “why, yes Johnny… his doctor said he has 20/20 vision. Little Johnny said “well, its a darn good thing, cause he sure couldn’t wear glasses!!!
A family of ducks were walking down the road when an 18-wheeler ran over all but 1 baby. Farther down the road a family of skunks were walking the other way when the same 18-wheeler ran over all but one baby. The duck and the skunk finally met each other and the duck said, “Excuse me, my mom died down the road. Would you tell me what I am?” “Well”, said the skunk “You have webbed feet, a beak, and feathers. You must be a duck.” “Thanks” said the duck; then the skunk said, “My mom died down the road too, will you tell me what I am?” “Well”, said the duck, “Your black, your white, & your mom’s dead, you must be O.J.s kid”
Q: What’s pink and red and can’t turn round in a corridor? A: A baby with a javellin through its head.
Q: What’s brown and in a baby’s diaper? A: Michael Jackson’s hand !!