On the way to

Why does Santa's sled get such good

| Christmas jokes

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage? Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

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What happened to the dog that fell into a

| Dog jokes

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine? He made a spectacle of himself.

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Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer

| Sport jokes

Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A: A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn." A bad skydiver goes, "Damn." WHACK!

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Now my motto in

| College jokes

Now my motto in life, said the school chaplain, "is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?" "My motto is let bygones be bygones." "That's good. Why did you choose that?" "Then I wouldn't have to take any history classes!"

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Why did the farmer put his cow on

| Cow jokes

Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!

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On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. ‘Be still, my heart,’ thought my friend, ‘my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke to the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”