Category: Telephone jokes

Mother: Why was the phone busy all night? Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.

The new office-boy came into his boss’s office and said, “I think you’re wanted on the phone, sir.” “What d’you mean, you think?” demanded the boss. “Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said ‘is that you, you old fool?”

Why did Dr Frankenstein have his telephone cut off? Because he wanted to win the Nobel prize!

Who was that on the phone, Fred? Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia, so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !

At three o’clock one morning a veterinary surgeon was woken from a deep sleep by the ringing of his telephone. He staggered downstairs and answered the phone. “I’m sorry if I woke you,” said a voice at the other end of the line. “That’s all right,” said the vet, “I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway.”

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a telephone. Doctor: Why’s that? I keep getting calls in the night.

What do ghosts use to phone home? A terror-phone.

What do you call an elephant in a phone box? Stuck.

After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents!