Category: Telephone jokes

How do scaredy-cats answer the phone? Yellow?

Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is so stuffed up, I can’t understand you. You should really take something for that cold. Operator: Good idea. I’ll take the rest of the day off!

What animals talk on the telephone the most? The yakety-yaks!

Hello, police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away! Sorry, this isn’t the police station. It’s the Delicatessen. Oh. Well, in that case, please send over a pastrami sandwich!

Caller: Operator! Operator! I don’t know what’s wrong with my phone, but I can’t make long distance calls any longer! Operator: Don’t worry. Your long distance calls are long enough already!

Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You’re an ambulance!

Party Host: Hello? Phone Caller: I’m trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima. Could you please ask if anybody at your party knows her? Party Host: I’d be glad to. Please hold on. (shouts) Excuse me, but does anybody know Ima Nidiot?

How can you tell if a bee is on the phone? You get a buzzy signal.

What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants? Bell-bottoms!

Caller: Operator! Operator! Do you know my boyfriend’s line has been busy for an hour? Operator: No, but if you hum a few bars, I might be able to sing along with you.