Category: Political jokes

Q: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. They haven’t got a policy on that.

Q: How many MP’s does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how it’s done.

Q: How many believable, competent, “just right for the job” presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: It’s going to be a dark 4 years, isn’t it?

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two-one to do it and one to steady the chandelier. A: None, they only screw the poor

Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum.

If the State of the Union is really “the best it’s ever been” Why do we “need” dozens of new government programs to fix it!

Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. “Give me your money”, he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, “Hey, watch it – I’m a United States Congressman!” “In that case,” replied the mugger, “give me MY money.”

One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy’s Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turns to his father and asks, “Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?” The father replies without hesitating, “Oh, about ten percent.”

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. “Ma,” he shouted, “the results are in. I won the election!” “Honestly?” The politician’s smiled faded. “Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?”