Category: Monster jokes

Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs at him? Of course – he’d be eggs-terminated.

How do man-eating monsters count to a thousand? On their warts.

The monster spent a fortune on deodorants before he found out that people didn’t like him anyway.

First Monster: I’m so thirsty my tongue’s hanging out. Second Monster: Oh. I thought that was your necktie!

What happens if a big hairy monster sits in front of you at the movie theater? You miss most of the film.

What did Frankenstein’s monster say when he was struck by lightning? Thanks, I needed that.

What does a monster mom say to her kids at dinnertime? Don’t talk with someone in your mouth.

What do you do with a green monster? Put it in the sun until it ripens!

How do you stop a monster digging up your garden? Take his spade away.

What should you do if a monster runs through your front door? Run through the back door.