Category: Men jokes

Q. What’s a man’s idea of honestly in a relationship? A. Telling you his real name.

Q. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? A. His wife is good at picking out clothes.

Q. What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it.

Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A. A power failure.

Q. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? A. Any place without a drive-up window.

Q. How does a man show he’s planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Q. How do men define a “50/50” relationship? A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

There were 11 people hanging on to a single rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were men; one was a woman. They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn’t, the rope would break and all of them would die. No one could decide who it should be. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and giving in to men. All of the men started clapping.

A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men. He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000 words per day. His wife thought about this for a while. She then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. Her husband looked stunned. He said “What?”

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? – Because a woman who can’t afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.