And how much of that stack of hay did you steal, Kavanaugh? the priest asked at confession. “I might as well confess to the whole stack, your Reverence,” said Kavanaugh. “I’m goin’ after the rest of it tonight!”
Category: Religious jokes
A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers
A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers asked the students to learned one fact about Jesus by the following Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. Susie said, “He was born in a manger.” Bobby said, “He threw the money changers out of the temple.” Little Johnny said, “He has a red pickup truck but he doesn’t know how to drive it.” Curious, the teacher asked, “And where did you learn that, Johnny?” “From my Daddy,” said Johnny. “Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, ‘Jesus Christ! Why don’t you learn how to drive?);
Q. How do you make holy water?
Q. How do you make holy water? A. Boil the hell out of it.
Who designed Noah’s ark?
Who designed Noah’s ark? An ark-itect !
What’s the moral of the story
What’s the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale ? You can’t keep a good man down !
Who was the best actor in the bible
Who was the best actor in the bible ? Samson, he brought the house down !
God is sitting up in his ivory
God is sitting up in his ivory tower, he’s had enough of the pressures and stresses of being the number one, so he’s decided to go on holiday. He calls all his super-being mates up and they pop around to discuss a few suggestions. “What about Mars,” says one of them. “Nah I went there 15,000 years ago,” says God, “it was shit, no atmosphere and too dusty.” “What about Pluto,” suggests another. “Nah I went there about 10,000 years ago,” says God. “Fucking freezing it was too.” “What about Mercury,” says another. “It’s nice but I went there about 5,000 years ago, I nearly burnt me bollox off it was that hot, never again,” says God. “What about Earth then,” suggests another. “You must be joking,” says God, “I went there about 2,000 years ago, knocked up some Jewish bird, and they’re still bloody talking about it.”
Who is the fastest runner in
Who is the fastest runner in history. Adam – because he was the first in the human race.
What did Adam do when he wanted some
What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar? He raised Cain.
At what time of day was Adam born?
At what time of day was Adam born? Just before Eve.