Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise? A. Turn right and go straight.
Category: Religious jokes
Q. What do they
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds.
Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David
Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot? A. The thought had never entered his head before.
Q. Who is the greatest
Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. What is one of the first things that
Q. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out? A. They really raised Cain.
Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled
Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? A. They were really put out.
Q. Where is the first baseball game in the
Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A. In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
A Jewish guy called Jacob finds himself in
A Jewish guy called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he’s in serious financial trouble. He’s so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He goes into the synagogue and begins to pray “God, please help me, I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto”. Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Jacob goes back to the synagogue. “God, please let me win the lotto, I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m going to lose my car as well”. Lotto night comes and Jacob still has no luck!! Back to the synagogue. “My God, why have you forsaken me?? I’ve lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won’t you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???”. Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Jacob is confronted by the voice of GOD himself: “JACOB, MEET ME HALF WAY ON THIS ONE, BUY A DAMN TICKET”
Q. Who
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought the house down.