Category: Gorilla jokes

Q: What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender? A: Rhesus Pieces.

Q: Why are gorillas so noisy? A: They were raised in a zoo!

Q: Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree ? A: Because it was dead.

Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree? A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

A man walks outside to his car for work, when he notices a gorilla in his tree. He rushs to his phone book and finds the animal control number, calls and asks them to send over someone who’s a gorilla expert. When the man arrives, he is carrying a shotgun, a chihuahua and a pair of handcuffs. The man says,What are all of those for? The animal control officer says, I’ll climb up in the tree, knock the gorilla down, the dog will bite him in the nuts and you must slap the handcuffs on his wrists. The man asks,What is the gun for? The animal control officer responds, If I fall first, you shoot the dog!

Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head? A. He thought he was a gorilla. (griller)!

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: They have big fingers.

A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared, ‘Who is the king of the jungle?’and the deer replied, ‘Oh, you are, Master. The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared, ‘Who is the king of the jungle?’ and the zebra replied, ‘Oh, you are, Master. The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant. ‘Who is the king of the jungle?’ he roared. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, ‘Okay, okay, there’s no need to get mad just because you don’t know the answer.

Why do primates do so well in show biz? Put any Ape in the spotlight – and monkeyshines!

Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money? It’s dangerous to let him put the bite on you!