Category: Face jokes

Fred: Do you like my new hairstyle? Harry: In as much as it covers most of your face, yes.

Patient: The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Don’t worry, I don’t expect anyone will notice.

Wife to Husband: I’ll have you know I’ve got the face of a teenager! Husband to Wife: Then you should give it back, you’re wearing it out.

Fred: Your sister uses too much make-up. Harry: Do you think so? Fred: Yes. It’s so thick that if you tell her a joke, five minutes after she’s stopped laughing her face is still smiling!

Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that when a tear rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and rolls straight up again?

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.

Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. “if I ever stop hating girls,” said one to the other, “I think I’ll stop hating her first.”

Fred: You’ve got a Roman nose. Harry: Like Julius Caesar? Fred: No, it’s roamin’ all over your face.

Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really? Which one? Fred: A Saint Bernard.

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter? The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.