Category: Christmas jokes

A football supporter’s favourite Christmas song? ‘Yule never walk alone’

What’s a hairdressers’s favourite Christmas song? ‘Oh comb all ye faithful’

What’s Scrooge’s favourite Christmas game? Mean-opoly.

Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank. Why did he do that? He was trying to save time!

Elf: My favourite film is about the man who casts spells in the middle of a swamp. Father Christmas: That’s called ‘The Wizard of Ooze’!

Father Christmas: What’s your favourite Christmas story? Elf: The one where the three creatures are scared of the Big Bad Wolf and they grow on trees! Father Christmas: You mean ‘The Three Little Figs’.

Father Christmas:I like the story about the girl who steals from the rich and gives it all to Granny. Elf: That’s Little Red Robin Hood’!

Father Christmas: What’s your favourite Christmas story? Elf: The one about the ghost that steals porridge! Father Christmas: You mean ‘Ghoul-di-locks’!

Father Christmas: All right, my good lady, my face is my ticket. Box office attendant: Then you’d better watch out… there’s a feller inside who has the job of punching the tickets.

Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lady: You certainly did! Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I’m back in the right row!