When does a bed grow longer?
| Bed jokes
When does a bed grow longer? At night, because two feet are added to it.
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What kind of ears do trains
| Car and train jokes
What kind of ears do trains have? Engineers (engine ears).
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What's the best thing to put into a pizza?
| Teeth jokes
What's the best thing to put into a pizza? Your teeth.
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What's a ghosts favorite ride at the
| Ghost jokes
What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival? The roller ghosted.
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What's the difference between a teacher
| Car and train jokes
What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
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A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then in July,” the friend continued, “My father died, leaving me $50,000.” “Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you’re depressed.” “And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000.” “Three close family members lost in three months? How sad.” “Then this month,” continued, the friend, “nothing!”