FRED: Your monster was making a terrible noise last night. BERT: Yes – ever since he ate Madonna, he thinks he can sing.
Category: Monster jokes
FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I
FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes. BERT MONSTER: That’s nothing. My sister’s tongue is so long, she can lick an envelope after she’s posted it.
What do you get if you cross a bird with a
What do you get if you cross a bird with a monstrous snarl? A budgerigrrrrr!
FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a
FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a monster with one hand. SECOND HUMAN BOY: Bet you can’t! FIRST HUMAN BOY: Find me a monster with one hand and I’ll prove it.
What is a monster’s favourite society?
What is a monster’s favourite society? The Consumers’ Association.
What’s big and hairy and goes ‘beep
What’s big and hairy and goes ‘beep beep’? A monster in a traffic jam.
An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven
An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven legs walked into a tailors shop. ‘Quick! shouted the tailor to his assistant. ‘Hide the “Free Alterations” sign!
What do sea monsters have for dinner?
What do sea monsters have for dinner? Fish and ships.
If storks bring
If storks bring human babies, what bring monster babies? Cranes.
A very tall monster with several arms and
A very tall monster with several arms and legs, all of different lengths, went into a tailor’s shop. ‘I’d like to see a suit that will fit me,’ he told the tailor. ‘So would I, sir,’ said the tailor. ‘So would I.