Category: Beauty jokes

Don’t look out of the window, Betty, people will think it’s Halloween.

People keep telling me I’m beautiful. What vivid imaginations some people have.

Fred keeps telling me that he’s going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh, what a shame! And you’ve been engaged for such a long time!

Where is everyone beautiful? In the dark.

I’ve just come back from the beauty parlour. Pity it was closed!

A monster went to the doctor with a branch growing out of his head. “Hmmm,” said the doctor. “I’ve no idea what it is.” The next week the branch was covered in leaves and blossom. “I’m stumped,” said the doctor, “but you can try taking these pills.” When the monster came back a month later the branch had grown into a tree, and just a few weeks later he developed a small pond, surrounded by trees and bushes, all of them on top of his head. “Ah!” said the doctor, “I know what it is. You’ve got a beauty spot.”

A witch went into a beauty parlor and asked the assistant how much it would cost to make her look like a film star. “Nothing,” replied the assistant. “Nothing?” she asked, “but how can I look like a film star?” “Haven’t you seen a film called The Creature from the Black Lagoon?” replied the assistant.