Category: Idiot and fool jokes

Did you hear about the Mexican bricklayer who went crazy trying to lay a cornerstone in a roundhouse.

Why does the Philippines ban rectal thermometers? They cause too much brain damage.

She’s so stupid she thinks a shoplifter is a very strong person who goes round picking up shops.

Did you hear about the Finn who spent a fortune building a storm cellar in case there was an earthquake.

And then there was the Newfie who was found dead in his jail cell with twelve bumps on his head. He’d tried to hang himself with a rubber band.

Did you hear about the hillbilly who went into the hardware store to buy a chain saw ? He said I want one that will cut down at least 10 trees a day. He was back at the hardware store with the saw a couple days later complaining that it only cut one tree and that took all day. The clerk at the hardware store started the saw to see what the problem was. The hillbilly jumped back and said what the hell is that noise?

Did you hear about the guy from Newfoundland who was twenty-two years old before he knew which part of the olive to throw away?’

I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it cause it was prettier than most. The clerk said, “It’s made in Germany”. I said, “That’s too bad, I can’t use it then”. The clerk said, “What’s the matter? You don’t like German pens?” I said, “No. I just never learned to write German.”

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch? They don’t want to have to retrain them.

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, “Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?” “I don’t know,” responded the other. “I’ll ask him.” So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. “Why are we digging in the hot sun and you’re standing in the shade?” “Intelligence,” the boss said. “What do you mean, intelligence’?” The boss said, “Well, I’ll show you. I’ll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can.” The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss’ hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, “That’s intelligence!” The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, “What did he say?” “He said we are down here because of intelligence.” “What’s intelligence?” said the friend. T he ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, “Take your shovel and hit my hand.”