Category: Food jokes

When Lee ate raw onions for a week what did he become? Lone Lee.

What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter of a pound of ground beef? A humburger.

Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun? Because she had her nose in a hamburger.

First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes, her skin had the glow of a peach, her cheeks were like apples and her lips like cherries – that’s my girl. Second boy: Sounds like a fruit salad to me.

Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch, what fruit would it remind you of? Pupil: A pear.

What’s red and green and wears boxing gloves? A fruit punch.

A tourist walked into a fish and chip shop in Ireland. “I’ll have fish and chips twice,” he orders. “Sure, I heard you the first time,” came the reply.

My brother’s on a seafood diet. Really? Yes, the more he sees food the more he eats.

What happens if you play tabletennis with a bad egg? First it goes ping, then it goes pong.

At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after egg from a little boy’s ear. “There!” he said proudly. “I bet your Mum can’t produce eggs without hens, can she?” “Oh yes, she can,” said the boy. “She keeps ducks.”