Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she’s pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator of New York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: “How could you have let this happen? With all that’s going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you??!!! I can’t believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what have you got to say???” There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams again, “Did you hear me??!!” Finally she hears Bill’s very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, “Who is this?”
Category: Clinton jokes
Q: What does Clinton have in common with his
Q: What does Clinton have in common with his Hollywood pals? A: They all make a living by lying to people.
Q: Why is
Q: Why is Bill infuriated with Chelsea’s new private school? A: They broke family tradition by making her wear a uniform.
Q: What was the real purpose of Bill’s
Q: What was the real purpose of Bill’s college visit to Moscow? A: To study economics.
President
President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board Air Force One. Under each arm he is carrying a souvenir of his trip — a live razorback. At the top of the jetway, he is met by the guard, a Marine sergeant, who issues a crisp salute. “I’d salute you back, Sergeant,” says the President, “but as you can see, I’ve got my hands full.” “Yes, sir,” replies the sergeant. “Very nice pigs, sir. Very nice pigs.” “Why, these aren’t pigs,” the President responds. “These are RAZORBACKS!” “Yes, sir — razorbacks. Sorry, sir.” “Yup,” Clinton continues. “Got this one for Chelsea, and this one for Hillary.” The sergeant replies: “Very good trade, sir — very good trade.”
In a survey of American
In a survey of American women, when asked, “Would you sleep with President Clinton?” 86% replied, “Not again”
Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an
Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper? … Ain’t nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I’ve ever had.
Q: How has Clinton made his
Q: How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America? A: Many of them have sixth grade reading levels.
Q: Why were there
Q: Why were there two presidential limousines in the inaugural parade? A: The first one held the real president while the second one contained the president’s spouse, Bill Clinton.
What did Clinton say when accused of copying
What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his girlfriend at Oxford? I did not have textual relations with that woman.