What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog

How does a farmer send messages?

| Farmer jokes

How does a farmer send messages? By e-i-e-i-o-mail.

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If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples

| Apple jokes

If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples in the orchard, how many hours would it take three pigs? None, because the six pigs have already eaten them all.

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A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do

| Political jokes

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?" And he replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...

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A motorist, driving by a

| Business jokes

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900

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Q. How do you know a blonde has been

| Blonde jokes

Q. How do you know a blonde has been using the computer? A. There is cheese in front of the mouse.

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What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed? Sleep on the sofa.