What is the bees favourite film ?
| Insect jokes
What is the bees favourite film ? The Sting !
[ read more ]
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting
| Money jokes
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
[ read more ]
Did you hear about the monster who had twelve
| Monster jokes
Did you hear about the monster who had twelve arms and no legs? He was all fingers and thumbs.
[ read more ]
What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk ?
| Insect jokes
What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk ? A centipede with a wooden leg !
[ read more ]
Why is the letter "t" so important to a stick
| Letter jokes
Why is the letter "t" so important to a stick insect? Without it would be a sick insect.
[ read more ]
My uncle Jack served in the late 60s on the aircraft carrier USS Ranger, CVA-61, in the Tonkin Gulf off the east coast of Vietnam. Having spent his youth with Ham radio, he became an electronics technician. He came aboard fresh from high school, Basic Training, and the US Navy’s radio repairman’s school.
In the radio shop, as probably elsewhere on the ship, in the Navy, and in military life in general, life is regulated by a strict hierarchy. In small organizational units, where the hierarchy is rather flat, the pecking order must be decided by some means other than stripe count. In the Ranger’s radio repair shop, the man with the least seniority was assigned to arrive earlier in the morning to make the coffee, so it would be ready by the time the rest of the crew arrived.
The first morning out of port, the chief petty officer was giving him the shop tour, focusing closely on coffee-making procedures.
“”Ya see kid, first ya put eight scoops of coffee in da basket, den ya put da water in da pot, up to dat line. Den ya put da basket in da pot, put da lid on, and plug it inta da bulkhead. Ya got dat, kid?”” “”Yes sir, got it.””
Jack didn’t drink coffee back then, and he still doesn’t care much for it. And he didn’t particularly like the idea of making the coffee for the duration of the cruise, for everyone else to drink. And he valued those ten extra minutes in the rack as much as the next sailor, perhaps even more.
So the next morning, Jack put eight scoops of coffee in the filter basket. The next morning, nine scoops. The morning after that, ten scoops. And so on…
By the end of the week, the rest of the shop was convinced that Jack, being incapable even of making a decent pot of coffee, was dumber than the average tree stump. They arrived at the consensus that the honor of coffee detail should be removed from his list of responsibilities, and given to someone more competent. Jack just meekly hung his head at the shame, said “”yes sir”” appropriately, and enjoyed those extra ten minutes of sleep for the rest of the cruise.