What's the best thing about turning
| Old age jokes
What's the best thing about turning 65? No more calls from insurance salesmen.
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Why do managers bring suitcases
| Sport jokes
Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games ? So that they can pack the defence !
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A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover
| Fishing jokes
A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope. "That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man." As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the
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A wife and her
| Humor jokes
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to ru
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Q: Why aren't Hindu and
| Ethnic jokes
Q: Why aren't Hindu and Chinese people allowed to play hockey? A: Because everytime they go into the corner they open up a convienent store.
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One day at the end of class little Billy’s teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell a story. Suzy said, “”Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road.”” The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, “”Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket.””
Next is little Lucy. “”Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched.”” The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Lucy replies “”Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.””
Last is little Billy. “”My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands””. The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story. Billy replies, “”Don’t fuck with uncle Ted when he’s been drinking.””