Category: Doctor and nurse jokes

Doctor, Doctor I think I’m suffering from Deja Vu! Didn’t I see you yesterday?

Doctor, Doctor I think I’m a bell? Take these and if it doesn’t help give me a ring!

Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do? Use a pencil till I get there’

Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone. Are you choking? No, I really did!

The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: “I’m afraid we’re going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you.” “Well, if it’s just because of them, I’d rather pay for them if you just leave me alone.”

Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois? The first offense they give you Bears tickets and the second offense they make you use them.

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. “You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. “What took you so long to answer?” “I was in bed.” “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”