Category: Christmas jokes

What can Santa give away and still keep? A cold.

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ? Beacause a little water ends both of them !

Last year’s Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean. That’s probably why the ocean’s full of currants!

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ? Thanks, I’ll never part with it !

Who made this Christmas pudding? Our chef. He’s a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it? Elf-raising flour, of course.

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ? They both drop their needles !

Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I’m turning into an orange! Have you tried playing squash?

What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ? A merry Christmas to ewe

What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ? Best vicious of the season