Fred: I haven't slept a wink for the past two
| Old age jokes
Fred: I haven't slept a wink for the past two nights. Harry: Why's that? Fred: Granny broke her leg. The doctor put it in plaster and told her she shouldn't walk upstairs. You should hear the row when she climbs up the drainpipe.
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Did you hear about the village idiot
| Idiot and fool jokes
Did you hear about the village idiot buying bird seed? He said he wanted to grow some birds.
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Q: How do you make a violin sound like a
| Music jokes
Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Sit in the back and don't play.
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What weighs 4 tons and is bright red ?
| Elephant jokes
What weighs 4 tons and is bright red ? An elephant holding its breath !
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The defendant
| Judge jokes
The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, "I dont recognize this court!" "Why?" asked the Judge. "Because you've had it decorated since the last time I was here."
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A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”