Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp,
| Dirty jokes
Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a street corner? A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!
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When is a lion not a lion ?
| Various animal jokes
When is a lion not a lion ? When he turns into his cage !
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A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank,
| Criminal jokes
A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, "This is a muck up!" "Don't you mean a stick up?" asked the girl. "No," said the robber, "it's a muckup. I've forgotten my gun."
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My mother says I look just like an
| Bath jokes
My mother says I look just like an animal when I'm in the bath - a little bear.
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What do headmasters and bullfrogs have
| Various animal jokes
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common ? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth !
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The Pentagon recently found it had too many Generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any General who retired right away, his full annual benefits PLUS $10,000 for every inch measured, in a straight line along the retiring general’s body, between two points he chose.
The first General accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. 6 feet. He walked out with a check for $720,000.
The second General asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. 8 feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.
Meantime, the first General had tipped off the third. When he was asked where to measure, he told the pension man, “”From the tip of my penis to the tip of my testicles.”” The pension man said that would be fine, but he’d better get the Medical Officer to do the measuring.
The Medical Officer attended and asked the General to drop ’em and he did. The Medical Officer placed the tape on the tip of the General’s penis and began to work back. “”My God!”” He said, “”Where are your testicles?”” The General replied, “”Back in Vietnam.””