What's big and ugly and drinks
| Monster jokes
What's big and ugly and drinks out of the wrong side of the glass? A monster trying to get rid of hiccups.
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What medicine would you give an ill ant
| Ant jokes
What medicine would you give an ill ant ? Antibiotics !
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What did the aardvark say when he lost
| Aardvark jokes
What did the aardvark say when he lost the race to the ant? If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em!
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Why did the grape cross the road?
| Food jokes
Why did the grape cross the road? To get away from the grapefruit.
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What happens when a cow stops shaving?
| Cow jokes
What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a Moostache.
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In Alaska’s National Forests, a tourists guide was giving a talk to a group of tourists about hiking in grizzly bear territory: “Most bear encounters occur when hikers, being extra quiet along the trails in hopes of viewing wildlife, accidentally stumble into bears. The resulting suprise can be catastrophic.” To avoid this, he suggested that each hiker wear tiny bells on their clothing to warn the bears of their presence. “Also,” he said further, “be especially cautious when you see signs of bears in the area, especially when you see bear droppings.” One tourist asked, “How do you identify bear droppings?” “Oh that’s easy,” the guide explained, “its the ones with all the tiny bells in them!”