A forester and a lawyer were in car
| Heaven and hell jokes
A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter's holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum
[ read more ]
A software verifier read in the Bible
| Computer jokes
A software verifier read in the Bible that God protects all fools, and decided to test it empirically. He jumped out of the window and broke a leg. There he lies, writhing in pain, and happily thinks: "I never really considered myself a fool, but I never knew I was THAT clever!"
[ read more ]
A guy is dating three women and can't decide
| Marriage jokes
A guy is dating three women and can't decide which one to marry. He gives each $1,000 to see how well they can manage money. The first one spends $800 and puts $200 in the bank. The second one spends $200 and puts $800 in the bank. The third one puts the whole $1,000 in the bank. Which one does
[ read more ]
On a flight
| Aviation jokes
On a flight with EasyJet back in 1997 the pilot made what can only be describes as an extremely heavy landing at Luton. It was very early in the morning and a number of passenger around me looked quite alarmed as, apart from the noise, a number of overhead lockers dropped open and several it
[ read more ]
Q: Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog? - A: So
| Dog jokes
Q: Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog? - A: So that they didn't have to bend down to pet it.
[ read more ]
A not so rich couple decided to stay at a very exclusive hotel for a night. The manager immediately recognized them for what they are but could not throw them out, instead he decided to be clever. In the morning the couple came to settle the bill and were surprized to find they owe $3000. “How’s this? We’ve only been here one night!” the man was annoyed. “So?”, said the manager, “this is a very expensive hotel. We have golf courts, tennis courts, swimming pools, exercise rooms, bars and restaurants, all this is very expensive to keep up.” “But we didn’t use any of these!” explained the couple. “If you didn’t use – that’s your problem,” came the reply. “In that case, you owe me $2000. You see, my wife is a call girl who charges $5000 a night, so please settle your bill,” said the man. “What do you mean?” the manager was taken off guard, “I didn’t sleep with your wife!” “If yo u didn’t use – that’s your problem!”