When Mr. Maxwell's wife left him he
| Marriage jokes
When Mr. Maxwell's wife left him he couldn't sleep. "She took the bed!"
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Producer: Would you call your leading
| Movie and TV jokes
Producer: Would you call your leading lady ugly? Director: Let's just say she'd look better on radio than on TV.
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Mom: Joe, time for your medicine.
| Bath jokes
Mom: Joe, time for your medicine. Joe: I'll run the bath then. Mom: Why? Joe: Because on the bottle it says "to be taken in water."
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What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing
| Christmas jokes
What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
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FIRST MONSTER: I fancy
| Monster jokes
FIRST MONSTER: I fancy eating the city of Hong Kong tonight. Care to join me? SECOND MONSTER: No thanks, I can't stand Chinese food.
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What do you call a telephone call from one vicar to another ? A parson to parson call !