Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you
| Music jokes
Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please. Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.
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A guy walking down a street one
| Idiot and fool jokes
A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack. The younger guy says to the old man, "Watcha got in the sack?" The old man responds, "I got some monkeys in that there sack." The younger man asks, "If I guess how many monkeys you got
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Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to
| Criminal jokes
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as
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The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing,
| Bicycle jokes
The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down. -"Geez, are you lucky." The cyclist says. -"What do you mean by lucky ?" The pedestrian angrily asks. "I got hurt really bad." -"Ah, you're lucky because I recently lost my license. I usually drive a bus."
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Three men were standing in line to get
| Heaven and hell jokes
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your s
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What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ? The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !