Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee
| Yo momma jokes
Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
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Wife to
| Face jokes
Wife to Husband: I'll have you know I've got the face of a teenager! Husband to Wife: Then you should give it back, you're wearing it out.
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Detective: Do you think
| Criminal jokes
Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs? Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves.
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Teacher: Look at the state of the school
| Computer jokes
Teacher: Look at the state of the school computer. I want that screen cleaned so I can see my face in it! Pupil: But then it will crack and we won't be able to use it at all.
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Grandpa: You youngsters are soft and lazy
| Old age jokes
Grandpa: You youngsters are soft and lazy today. When I was your age I got up at six o'clock every morning and walked five or six miles before breakfast. I used to think nothing of it. Fred: I don't blame you, Grandpa. I wouldn't think,much of it myself.
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Beatrice Lillie (Lady Peel) was once accosted by a haughty old dowager who scrutinized her through her lorgnettes. “What lovely pearls, dear Beatrice,” she maliciously remarked. “Are they real?” Yes, nodded Lady Peel. “Of course,” the dowager declared, “you can always tell real pearls by biting them. May I try?” “Gladly,” Lady Peel replied. “But remember, Duchess, you can’t tell real pearls with false teeth.”