Three men stood before a judge on a charge of
| Humor jokes
Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park. Judge: What were you doing? 1st man: Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond. Judge: And what were you doing? 2nd man: I was throwing peanuts in the pond, too." Judge: Sounds harmless. And you, we
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Policeman: Why were
| Car and train jokes
Policeman: Why were you speeding when I stopped you? Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.
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A software verifier read in the Bible
| Computer jokes
A software verifier read in the Bible that God protects all fools, and decided to test it empirically. He jumped out of the window and broke a leg. There he lies, writhing in pain, and happily thinks: "I never really considered myself a fool, but I never knew I was THAT clever!"
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What do you get if you cross a phone with a
| Telephone jokes
What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration? A party line!
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Q: Why do Polish police cars have stripes on
| Ethnic jokes
Q: Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side? A: So the cops can find the handles.
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Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?” The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?” “Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”