If you had one dollar and you

Waiter, waiter, does the pianist play

| Restaurant jokes

Waiter, waiter, does the pianist play requests? Yes, sir. Then ask him to play tiddlywinks until I've finished my meal.

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Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a

| Music jokes

Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?" Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!"

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Do hamburgers make good vampires?

| Burger jokes

Do hamburgers make good vampires? No, because they always find themselves in ghoulash situations!

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Who is the Gorillas' favourite President of

| Gorilla jokes

Who is the Gorillas' favourite President of recent years? Hairy Truman!

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How does a witch make scrambled eggs ?

| Witch jokes

How does a witch make scrambled eggs ? She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright ! 'Owl be seeing you later.

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If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? One dollar. You don’t know your arithmetic. You don’t know my father !