Waiter, there is a cockroach on my
| Waiter jokes
Waiter, there is a cockroach on my steak ! They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir !
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Where do you go to meet the
| Fishing jokes
Where do you go to meet the best fish? It doesn't matter - any old plaice will do.
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A monster walked into the council rent office
| Monster jokes
A monster walked into the council rent office with a $5 note stuck in one ear and a $10 note in the other. You see, he was $15 in arrears.
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Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is
| Telephone jokes
Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is so stuffed up, I can't understand you. You should really take something for that cold. Operator: Good idea. I'll take the rest of the day off!
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What did the blonde's mother say when she
| Blonde jokes
What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl? "Just flush it like everybody else does."
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It seems that there was a little old church out in the countryside: painted white and with a high steeple. One Sunday, the pastor noticed that his church needed painting. He checked out the Sunday ads and found a paint sale. The next day, he went into town and bought a gallon of white paint. He went back out to the church and began the job. He got done with the first side. It was looking great. But he noticed he had already used a half gallon. He didn’t want to run back in town and being the creative person that he was, he found a gallon of thinner in the shed out back, and began to thin his paint. It worked out great. He finished the remaining three sides with that last half gallon of paint. That night, it rained: it rained hard. The next morning when he stepped outside of the parsonage to admire his work, he saw that the first side was looking great, but that the paint on the oth er three sides had washed away. The pastor looked up in sky in anguish and cried out, “What shall I do?” A voice came back from the heavens saying, “Repaint, and thin no more!”